Author: Jothi

Blog

It’s A Bit Odd

Jothi

I’m at the Stanford cancer center right now. I’m sitting in a chair having my blood pumped out of my body. It’s laying across my chest and lap, on its way to a machine to filter out my blood stem cells. Another line, from the outlet on the machine, is running up my lap and chest and going back into my body. It’s rather odd (and maybe a bit grody) seeing your blood outside your body, in your lap, going in and out of your body. At times, I feel like my bones are exploding from the stem cell growth factor drug affecting my marrow.

I had to go to the infusion center last night to get a drug that encourages my blood stem cells to leave my marrow to go into my blood, so it could be collected today.

I saw my chemo chair, this one colored orange. It was in a large room that has multiple treatment chairs in it, separated by curtains, that is typical for these rooms. All types of cancer are treated in this infusion center.

I sat down in the chair, awaiting the nurse to run all the regular pre-checks, blood pressure, oxygen level, temperature, etc. She had to run off to do something else. I scooted my butt back and forth in the chair to get comfy.

The room was mostly empty, since it was at night, except for the chair next to me. Almost as soon as I sat down, a nurse went to the woman sitting next to me. I couldn’t see her, since the curtain divided the spaces, but I could hear everything.

“I have some bad news, unfortunately” said the nurse.

“Your labs just came back. It showed that your kidneys are starting to fail and your liver is in trouble. We need to run an EKG to check your heart.”

“Your tumor burden is too much for your organs.”

“We need to admit you to the hospital right now to help clear out your kidneys and liver.”

My heart went out to this woman. I wanted to get up and go over and give her a hug.

A soft sob came from the other side of the curtain.

“How long do I have to be hospitalized for?”

“We aren’t sure, at least a couple of days.”

My nurse came back.

She started saying to me, “Do you have this problem, that problem?

“No” I said, a bit guiltily.

Part of me felt guilty, I don’t know, humans are a bit odd. I guess, I was experiencing some survivor guilt? My situation has nothing to do with hers, and I suppose I could be in a similar situation in a few weeks with the nuclear bomb drop happening on me (sct).

There is really not much I could do for this person, but I still wanted to do something. The feeling of wanting to control a situation that I have absolutely no control over.

I finished my treatment. I was going to go over and just offer a few words of encouragement to this woman, after she was just crushed. But by the time I was done, so many nurses and even some family members showed up, her area was packed with people and activity.

I’m pretty sure I would have just been in the way, so I left.

I couldn’t help thinking, if my few words would had made any difference for her. Or if I wanted to say something, maybe subconsciously, just to make myself feel better about her situation.

Our time will come for all of us at some point. I’m grateful that I’ve found some peace within myself. It was just another reminder for me to be grateful for what I have and the health I have, whatever level that is.

My blood running through a machine, filtering out the blood stem cells.
A snapshot of my specs, I guess I better sit back down, my return is low 😅.
Blog, labs

Labs 3/2/23

Jothi

Hot off the press, my latest numbers. Not much new. Although, my ratio of Lambda and Kappa finally are at a normal ratio, which it’s been awhile since that happened. Things do look pretty good though, despite the weekly chemo hammerings.

I’m marching towards high dose chemo with stem cell rescue (SCT) at Stanford, with collection at the end of this month. High dose chemo and stem cells infused back around April 10th. I feel pretty grateful that I’ve been referred to them for this procedure.

My last zap of chemo is on March 11. My self-imposed training regiment begins after that. I want to be in high gear physically and mentally. My goal is to restore and revitalize my cells and organs as much as possible prior to collection.

I have a meeting with two Stanford nutritionists tomorrow, I hope I learn something. The last time I had a meeting with a nutritionist, I was teaching them things. “Oh wow! I didn’t know that”, they said. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’m pretty passionate about nutrition.

But, I would like to point out, because sometimes I feel like I’m on a box preaching about nutrition, with no one listening. I feel like most people, if not all, would say Stanford is pretty top notch, as far as health care. They are making a point about how important nutrition is while you go through this procedure.

I’ve known people who have gone through medical procedures, and they’ve said to me that they want to eat really healthy and well, so they recover quickly. I find it funny, how it doesn’t compute with them about eating good food all the time, and they go back to eating garbage food after they’ve healed.

I’ll get back up on my box and say it matters all the time….

ComponentYour valueStandard range
IgG, urine, electrophoresis<0.6 mg/dL<=0.5 mg/dL
IgA, urine, electrophoresis<0.5 mg/dL<=0.4 mg/dL
IgM, urine, electrophoresis<0.7 mg/dL<=0.6 mg/dL
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Creatinine0.77 mg/dL<=1.34 mg/dL
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Bilirubin, total1.2 mg/dL0.2 – 1.2 mg/dL
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Neutrophils, Automated Count3.2 K/uL1.8 – 7.9 K/uL
Lymphocytes, Automated Count1.3 K/uL0.9 – 3.2 K/uL
Monocytes, Automated Count0.5 K/uL0.3 – 0.9 K/uL
Eosinophils, Automated Count0.1 K/uL0.0 – 0.4 K/uL
Basophils, Automated Count0.0 K/uL0.0 – 0.1 K/uL
Immature Granulocytes, Automated Count0.0 K/uL0.0 – 0.1 K/uL
Neutrophils %, Automated count63 %%
Lymphocytes %, Automated count25 %%
Monocytes %, Automated Count10 %%
Eosinophils %, Automated Count2 %%
Basophils %, Automated Count0 %%
ComponentYour valueStandard range
WBC COUNT5.2 K/uL3.7 – 11.1 K/uL
Red blood cells count3.73 M/uL4.10 – 5.70 M/uL
Hgb12.7 g/dL13.0 – 17.0 g/dL
Hematocrit35.6 %39.0 – 51.0 %
MCV95 fL80 – 100 fL
RDW, RBC13.3 %12.0 – 16.5 %
Platelets count154 K/uL140 – 400 K/uL
RBC’s, nucleated0 /100WC<=0 /100WC
ComponentYour valueStandard range
SPEP INTERPRETATIONSEE ABN
Homogeneous Band In Gamma Region.
M-protein band 1SEE ABN g/dL<=0.0 g/dL
M-Band detected; not quantifiable.
NameStandard range1/6/232/3/233/2/23
KAPP/LAMB FR 0.26 – 1.650.390.731.13
KAPPA LIGHT CHAIN FREE 3.30 – 19.40 mg/L2.252.143.91
LAMBDA LIGHT CHAIN FREE, SERPL 5.71 – 26.30 mg/L5.822.923.45
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Beta-2-microglobulin1,543 ug/L900 – 2,300 ug/L
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Potassium4.0 mEq/L3.5 – 5.3 mEq/L
ComponentYour valueStandard range
ALT14 U/L0 – 47 U/L
Wisdom

Wisdom From The Billy’s Of The Hills

Jothi

I’m not sure who wrote these, but most of these are pure GOLD, enjoy.

𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐇𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦:

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

If you don’t take the time to do it right, you’ll find the time to do it twice.

Don’t corner something that is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

Don’t be banging your shin on a stool that’s not in the way.

Borrowing trouble from the future doesn’t deplete the supply.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

Silence is sometimes the best answer.

Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Most times, it just gets down to common sense.

Blog

How To Stop Unstoppable Hiccups

Jothi

As it turns out, one of the rare side effects of dexamethasone is uncontrolled hiccups. And guess what? I am lucky enough to have that side effect.

It was kind of funny the first time it happened, years ago now. Hic hic hic. I tried all my normal methods of stopping hiccups. Held my breath. Drank some water. Held my breath and drank some water, etc. Nothing worked. Hic hic hic. I thought they would just go away with some time. They didn’t.

I was hiccuping for hours and things were starting to get hairy. I was hiccuping up stomach acid, and it was getting painful, and I couldn’t get it to stop!

It turns out there is a simple solution for any hiccups, unstoppable or regular. Also, the great thing about it, it stops them very quickly.

Sucking on a lemon wedge. Something about the sour and the sucking motion, wipes out hiccups almost instantaneously. Plus, who doesn’t look great with a lemon wedge there instead of teeth, added bonus!

All you have to do is bite a little bit on the lemon flesh, to release the juice, and suck on the wedge like a pacifier. Make sure you are swallowing the juice as you do it. I was a little concerned when I was hiccuping up acid, adding more acid (lemon juice) to acid, but it stopped them so quickly, I almost felt like my esophagus’s life had just been saved.

Now if they ever start, I get a lemon wedge right away and not let it get that far. There you go. I hope this saves your esophagus’s life or at least some sanity from not hiccuping forever….

I had to add this one, it was too funny. I think I would make a good passport photo, imagine the immigration officer’s face.
Blog, How To

How To Stop Freaking Out Or De-Stress

Jothi

By Breathing of course.

Have you ever given awareness or paid attention to your breathing? Sometimes when I’m watching TV in the evening, I’ll randomly do a check in, to see how my breathing is going. Sometimes, I’m surprised to find that I’m breathing rather shallow. Especially, I notice it when I’m watching sports and I want my team to win. I’m stressing out over something silly, like a sports game, that actually doesn’t matter at all.

Working, driving, family, friends, money, pets, a chronic condition, waiting on test results, any number of things or life in general, can be stressful!

I’ll let you in on a secret of mine.

I’m afraid of needles, especially blood tests. I laugh at the irony of it all the time. Go figure, I would get a blood cancer.

For months, in the last number of years, I have had to go in for weekly blood tests. I could feel myself wind up as the days went by, to see the vampires, got closer and closer. Feeling that heavy pit in my stomach. Sitting there, in the chair, as they put that rubber band on your arm. Waiting as they are about to stick in the needle. Darn! They missed the vein, now they have to dig around for it or stick me again (I actually have easy veins too). Sometimes, I break out in a sweat, heart pounding. Shaking, when it’s all over.

Well, that doesn’t sound like a good state to be in.

I was just put into fight or flight mode, and I need to be in rest and repair mode as much as possible. A person doesn’t think clearly when they are in fight or flight state.

Breathing is the best way to get back into rest and repair mode and stop stressing or freaking out. It doesn’t matter the reason you are freaking out for these techniques to work. Sometimes just giving awareness to your breathing can be helpful. Just recognize and correct the situation.

I would like to give credit first, mainly because I don’t think it’s said enough, to India, to yoga, to preparing to meditate and meditation. Not to our western version of yoga, the real deal thing developed in India, where these breathing techniques come from. I will always be grateful for the life altering practices that I learned there.

Technique 1:

Alternative Nostril Breathing. This is my personal go to. I do it when I feel stressed and need to calm down and reset.

Begin by holding your right nostril closed and breathe in through your left.

Next, close your left nostril and breathe out through your right nostril.

Keep holding your left nostril closed and breathe in through your right nostril.

Then close your right nostril and breathe out through your left.

This completes one set. Try and count to yourself the same number of counts breathing in and keep it the same number breathing out. Whatever number is comfortable for you. (I’m pretty sure I missed my calling as a nose model, what do you think? 🤪)

I also do a version of this, for at least 10 minutes, every night before I go to sleep. This version must be done when you are calm and not stressed. It’s the same except, you hold your breath for a count of 1 after you inhale both times.

Technique 2:

Sigh Breathing. I really like this one too. I do enjoy a good sigh.

  • Sit up straight.
  • Take a deep, slow breath in through your nose, filling your lungs to full capacity.
  • Hold your breath for 3-5 seconds.
  • Release your breath through your mouth with a sigh (or a good groan 😜).
  • Repeat until you feel better.

Technique 3:

4-7-8 Breathing. This one is amazingly good and quick for snapping you back into instant clarity. I think maybe it has to do with the lack of oxygen coming in at times. Again, alternative nostril breathing is my number one choice, but this one is really helpful in certain situations.

  • Start by exhaling completely.
  • Breathe in for a count of 4.
  • Then hold your breath for a count of 7.
  • Exhale for a count of 8.
  • Repeat. I find that it usually only takes 5 times or so to be re-centered.

A quick note on counting. Make sure you are counting the same way, with the same timing. I can count to 8 in the same time as 4, but that defeats the purpose of doing these breathing exercises. 8 should be twice as long as 4!

Technique 4:

Square Breathing. I don’t use this one much, but I know people who really like it.

  • For this one, the number count doesn’t matter, do what works for you, but the number has to remain the same (i.e. a count of 4 or 5).
  • Start by exhaling completely.
  • Breathe in through your nose for the count of 4.
  • Hold for the count of 4.
  • Exhale through your mouth for the count of 4.
  • Hold again for the count of 4.
  • Repeat.

Technique 5:

Straw Breathing. This is a fantastic one for kids.

  • Breathe a full breath in through your nose.
  • Puff up your cheeks with air and blow out slowly through your mouth like you had a straw in your mouth.
  • Repeat.

For me personally, I can get through my bloods tests and IV’s fine now (and most other things), without freaking out. I’m still very much a work in progress.

I was trying to think of a number 2 for de-stressing besides breathing. Breathing is number one on my list because it’s so effective, it doesn’t cost you anything, and you can do it anytime and anywhere. I would say that exercise would be number 2. But it’s funny though, if you’re exercising, give awareness to your breath, and you’ll notice you breathe very deeply and rhythmically, usually the same count in as out. So in the end, is it breathing again?

Breathing is so amazingly simple and it is so amazingly effective. This should give you a number of tools to help you get through life or de-stress. I hope you find one that you like.

Breathing will help you regain yourself when you lose yourself. But if you want to keep a level head and not lose yourself to begin with, meditate daily, but that’s a whole other topic…

Kabaam!
Blog

Labs 2/3/23

Jothi

Here is my latest set. Not a whole lot changed. My light chains are now both low. I guess the drugs are really hammering them. M-band is too low to quantify. Some of the CBC’s are up and the others a down a bit.

I had another bone marrow biopsy as well. Results showed the myeloma is under 1%. Previous test showed 20%, so that was a huge drop in 3 months. They ran another fish genetics test as well for some reason. That came back normal, I do have the 1q gain and the 14:16 myeloma genetics, that show up when there is enough myeloma.

Name Standard range12/9/221/6/232/3/23
KAPP/LAMB FR 0.26 – 1.650.290.390.73
KAPPA LIGHT CHAIN FREE 3.30 – 19.40 mg/L3.552.252.14
LAMBDA LIGHT CHAIN FREE, SERPL 5.71 – 26.30 mg/L12.075.822.92
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Creatinine0.72 mg/dL<=1.34 mg/dL
Estimated Glomerular Filtration Rate>60 mL/min/1.73 m2=60 mL/min/1.73 m2
ComponentYour valueStandard range
Bilirubin, total1.0 mg/dL0.2 – 1.2 mg/dL
ComponentYour valueStandard range
ALT16 U/L0 to 47 U/L0 – 47 U/L
Name Standard range12/9/221/6/232/3/23
HCT 39.0 – 51.0 %35.834.935.1
HGB 13.0 – 17.0 g/dL13.212.412.4
MCV 80 – 100 fL899497
NRBC <=0 /100WC000
PLT 140 – 400 K/uL177177184
RBC’S 4.10 – 5.70 M/uL4.023.723.63
RDW, RBC 12.0 – 16.5 %14.915.213.8
WBC 3.7 – 11.1 K/uL4.44.75.5
Name Standard range12/9/221/6/232/3/23
BASOS % AUTO %000
BASOS ABS AUTO 0.0 – 0.1 K/uL0.00.00.0
EOS % AUTO %124
EOS ABS AUTO 0.0 – 0.4 K/uL0.00.10.2
IMMAT GRANS ABS AUTO 0.0 – 0.1 K/uL0.00.00.0
IMMAT GRANULO % AUTO %000
LYMPHS % AUTO %252828
LYMPHS ABS AUTO 0.9 – 3.2 K/uL1.11.31.5
MONOS % AUTO %141212
MONOS ABS AUTO 0.3 – 0.9 K/uL0.60.60.6
NEUTROPHILS % AUTO %615856
NEUTROPHILS ABS AUTO 1.8 – 7.9 K/uL2.72.83.1
Name Standard range12/9/221/6/232/3/232/3/23
ALB 3.8 – 5.0 g/dL4.34.24.5 
ALPHA 1 GLOB EP 0.2 – 0.4 g/dL0.30.30.3 
ALPHA 2 GLOB EP 0.5 – 1.0 g/dL0.40.40.5 
BETA GLOB EP 0.6 – 1.2 g/dL0.60.60.6 
GAMMA GLOB EP 0.7 – 1.8 g/dL0.60.40.4 
TP 6.0 – 7.7 g/dL  6.26.2
Name Standard range12/9/221/6/232/3/23
M-BAND-1 <=0.0 g/dL0.4SEE ABNSEE ABN
SPEP INTERPRETATIONSEE ABNSEE ABNSEE ABN

RESULT
Normal FISH Result

1q (CKS1B) Gain: not detected
t(4;14) (IGH-FGFR3) Fusion: not detected
9p (JAK2) Gain: not detected
11q (CCND1) Gain: not detected
t(11;14) (IGH-CCND1) Fusion: not detected
t(14;16) (IGH-MAF) Fusion: not detected
t(14;20) (IGH-MAFB) Fusion: not detected
17p (TP53) Deletion: not detected