Here is my latest set of labs. The doctors decided numbers weren’t moving fast enough and took me off Dara sq and Pom and put me on the more toxic Carfilzomib and Cyclophosphamide (good ‘ol mustard gas).
I was a bit concerned about burning through Dara sq rather quickly, when it was potentially still working, although really slowly. I talked to the oncologist and he thinks it’s still viable in the future.
I read that Cyclophosphamide can be more effective with Vitamin A and Beta-carotene and less toxic with Reishi mushrooms. Carrot juice for the win!
Because I started on new drugs, they ran some labs weekly. It was quite amazing to see my lambda light chains shoot down in less than two weeks and are now in normal range! Looks like it also punches down my kappa light chains, which I didn’t need, but I’m still scrapping by. M-band didn’t run, I suppose that will be the best indicator for the myeloma.
CBC looks pretty darn good. Nutrition nutrition nutrition, that’s my motto.
Unfortunately, after each infusion (3 now), I’ve ended up sick for 3-4 days. First was a cold, second was a cold and fever (thankfully, I avoided the emergency room) and now a sinus cold with the third. Honestly, I can’t tell anymore if it’s a germ or a side effect. It seems like a germ each time, but it starts around infusion time. I’m finally on the mend again today and I get a week off from chemo, so that’s awesome.
I touched on my breakfast recipe in my post My Diet – Part Two. Here is the whole thing. I have additional information at the bottom. Please read the notes.
Ingredients – one serving
1/2 Cup of Rolled Oats
1 Tablespoon of Quinoa
1 Tablespoon of Amaranth
1 1/2 Half Cups of Frozen mixed berries
1 Tablespoon of Goji berries
1 Pinch of Clove Powder
1 Pinch of Cardamom Powder
1 Tsp of Cinnamon Powder
1 Tsp of Ginger Powder
1 1/2 Tablespoon of Coconut Oil
10 Soaked Overnight Almonds
1 Tablespoon of Chia Seeds
5 Tablespoons of Flax Seeds
3 1/3 Cups of Water
Boil 1 1/3 cups of water in a small pot. Once boiled, add the Quinoa and Amaranth. Turn the heat to low. When the Amaranth gets shiny or drops to the bottom of the pot (about 5 minutes), add the rolled oats. Remove the almond skins, add to pot and stir. Cooked when water is gone.
In a separate pot, add the goji berries, mixed berries, spices and remaining 2 cups of water. Stir the mixture every couple of minutes to have the spices well mixed and cook (enhances flavor). Bring to a boil. Turn off when goji berries look fluffy and blueberries start to lose color.
Add the chia and flax seeds to a coffee grinder and grind for about 15 seconds until you have a smooth powder. Dump the powder into a large eating bowl. Add the coconut oil.
Add the berry mixture into the bowl with the flax mixture. Mix together and let it sit for 2 minutes to let the chia and flax absorb some of the berry mixture water.
Lastly, add the cooked oatmeal mixture. Breakfast is served!
A couple of notes.
I use frozen berries because they are less expensive than fresh ones. Either is good. Mixed berries sometimes have a lot of strawberries in them, which I try and keep to a minimum (trying to keep my body balanced, low on acid foods, it’s an Ayurvedic/Chinese medicine thing).
Sometimes, I add or just use mini wild blueberries (from Canada, usually). They are slightly different in nutrition. I’ve heard they also remove things like radiation. I especially like to have them after getting scanned.
As you saw, I add coconut oil to my breakfast. It is a healthy fat, antibacterial, antimicrobial. Everyone needs healthy fats to their diet. This is one place where I get part of mine, which is the reason it’s in there. If you don’t need it or want it, don’t add it. Don’t substitute poor quality other oils.
Flax! I have a lot of it here in my breakfast, as you can see. It’s really amazing stuff. It is so good for you on so many different levels. That being said, there are cases where this level of flax is too much. For instance, people who have breast cancer. One tablespoon max of freshly ground flax can stabilize and bind excess estrogen, beyond that, it can potentially cause undesirable consequences. Please get educated about your condition or ask your doctor. If in doubt, just use a tablespoon or two.
I don’t use sweetener of any kind. I do believe that added sugar fuels cancer growth, among other things. My taste buds have adapted to a very low sugar diet (which is quite amazing, but that’s a whole other story). If you need some sweetener, try add some raisins.
If you are having trouble with your appetite, try and add more water. I find that watery food is easier to intake than thicker food.
I hope you give it a try and like it. If you want, leave a comment about any tweaks in the recipe you enjoy 😊.
Here are my latest labs. Light Chains are down a bit, which was nice to see. The Dr. still wanted to changed drugs though. Seems like they are trying to rush me to a bone marrow transplant. I guess we will see how fast the new drugs punch things down. I also had a bone marrow biopsy. I posted the Fish test results from that, although nothing changed.
Name Standard range
9/15/22
10/13/22
11/10/22
KAPP/LAMB FR 0.26 – 1.65
0.07
0.06
0.06
KAPPA LIGHT CHAIN FREE 3.30 – 19.40 mg/L
7.66
6.73
6.18
LAMBDA LIGHT CHAIN FREE, SERPL 5.71 – 26.30 mg/L
110.37
118.37
102.87
Name Standard range
9/15/22
10/13/22
11/10/22
BASOS % AUTO %
1
1
1
BASOS ABS AUTO 0.0 – 0.1 K/uL
0.0
0.0
0.0
EOS % AUTO %
2
4
2
EOS ABS AUTO 0.0 – 0.4 K/uL
0.1
0.2
0.1
IMMAT GRANS ABS AUTO 0.0 – 0.1 K/uL
0.0
0.0
0.0
IMMAT GRANULO % AUTO %
0
0
0
LYMPHS % AUTO %
42
39
40
LYMPHS ABS AUTO 0.9 – 3.2 K/uL
1.7
2.1
2.1
MONOS % AUTO %
15
14
13
MONOS ABS AUTO 0.3 – 0.9 K/uL
0.6
0.7
0.7
NEUTROPHILS % AUTO %
39
42
44
NEUTROPHILS ABS AUTO 1.8 – 7.9 K/uL
1.5
2.2
2.3
Name Standard range
9/15/22
10/13/22
11/10/22
HCT 39.0 – 51.0 %
38.6
38.5
37.2
HGB 13.0 – 17.0 g/dL
13.6
13.6
13.5
MCV 80 – 100 fL
92
91
87
NRBC <=0 /100WC
0
0
0
PLT 140 – 400 K/uL
132
123
121
RBC’S 4.10 – 5.70 M/uL
4.20
4.24
4.26
RDW, RBC 12.0 – 16.5 %
13.3
13.6
14.1
WBC 3.7 – 11.1 K/uL
3.9
5.3
5.3
Name Standard range
9/15/22
10/13/22
11/10/22
11/10/22
ALB 3.8 – 5.0 g/dL
4.1
4.1
4.3
ALPHA 1 GLOB EP 0.2 – 0.4 g/dL
0.3
0.3
0.3
ALPHA 2 GLOB EP 0.5 – 1.0 g/dL
0.4
0.5
0.5
BETA GLOB EP 0.6 – 1.2 g/dL
0.6
0.6
0.6
GAMMA GLOB EP 0.7 – 1.8 g/dL
1.0
1.1
1.2
TP 6.0 – 7.7 g/dL
6.8
6.8
Name Standard range
9/15/22
10/13/22
11/10/22
M-BAND-1 <=0.0 g/dL
0.9
1.0
1.0
Fish Test INTERPRETATION 11/7/22 (Nothing Changed) This analysis showed signal patterns consistent with:
1q21 (CKS1B) gain (3-4 copies total) in 37/100 (37.0 percent) cells scored.
IGH-MAF fusion due to translocation (14;16) (q32;q23) and loss of a derivative chromosome in 37/100 (37.0 percent) cells scored.
Have you ever seen the children’s movie: Chicken run? Made by Nick Park, the same guy who did Wallace and Gromit. I think the guy is pretty clever and witty, so I liked his shows a lot.
Anyhow the old guy, in Chicken run is being fooled by the chickens and he says “Gnomes”, thinking gnomes are causing the trouble. I still think of that when I hear “Gnomes!”.
Some gnome houses sprouted up overnight in the garden.
It’s amazing how fast mushrooms grow.
I feel if there ever was a universal cure for cancer, it would come from mushrooms!
I do eat mushrooms, almost daily. I wouldn’t eat these ones though, being mostly mushroom ignorant. I also take reishi daily for the potential anti myeloma effect.
If you ever wanted to watch an awesome show (I think so anyhow), watch Fantastic Fungi (Netflix has it). They have some amazing time lapse clips and interesting mushroom information.
I haven’t felt like posting for a little while. Mostly been uninspired. I guess I did start one post, that I’m actually really excited about: Death. (Excited about the post, not death 😜).
I’ve been really enjoying writing it and I really hope it is helpful and makes you go “hmm”. It’s been kicking around in my head for months and I’ve been itching to write it. It’s an really important one for me, so I don’t want to flub it.
It was infusion day for me today. They had me take 40mgs of Dex (steroid) on top of the chemo. Dex at this strength, makes my lower back ache like crazy. It’s going to be awesome, can’t sleep and a achy back 👍🏻😝. Really, “everything is awesome”, (woah, Lego movie, I guess I have shows pouring out of my head).
I had an eye check up the other day. My eyes are pretty good, but things have been getting a little fuzzy up close. I know vision changes can happen from myeloma, from chemotherapy to treat myeloma and because, I’m just getting older.
I told the chemo nurses my vision has changed since I started chemo four months ago now. They couldn’t tell me if it was related to the drugs or age, which is fair, because neither can I.
I went in to the Optometrists, had my eyeballs examined, read all the tiny letters and the result was that I still have 20/20 vision at a distance. About a foot away, I need some weak reading glasses. I’m not sure if I’ll bother yet, since I usually read around two feet away, which I don’t have a problem with (yet 🤞🏼). Guess I’m just getting a bit old, which is good in my situation.
In about two weeks, the doctors want to run a whole host of tests on me to check up on the myeloma in further depth (including, the dreaded bone marrow biopsy).
One of the other tests is a 24-hour urine test to check protein and creatinine clearance. I was already at the doctors for my eyes, so I went over to the lab to do the paperwork and get my pee jugs. That took about 10 minutes and I hopped in the car and went home.
When I got home, I was reading over the instructions for the test before I put it all away, since I’m not doing the test yet. I happened to look at the labels they stuck on the jug and saw the printed doctor’s label. Rrrrrr…. Somehow the lab tech printed out a doctor’s label that had the Optometrist’s name and doctor’s code on it. How is it even an option to have an optometrist’s name print for a urine test?
I promise you, I try and not micromanage so much. But I swear, I find myself having to micromanage my medical everything so much. Just a gripe, but I shouldn’t have to double-check the labels on my pee jugs!
Although, I couldn’t help it, almost immediately after I saw the optometrists name on the label, the sinister thought of handing over my pee jugs to the optometrists, did make me laugh 😂. Here you go….
Normal blood numbers look good. Cancer numbers look BLAH! I feel like my cancer cells see the cancer drugs and are flipping the bird and going the other direction.
It was a cold and windy night. My cousin Soren had decided to take his wife and family on a holiday. They had a spare room in the house they rented and invited me to come along. It was an odd vacation home. You had to take a boat to get there because it was on a tiny island the middle of the sea.
After we got warmed up and our arms recovered from all the rowing, we started settling in. I found my room, it was on the second story of the house overlooking, well of course, the sea. I dropped off my belongings and headed back down stairs. The rest of the family was sitting around a tall dining room table on black stools.
“What should we have for dinner”, Soren asked
“I want pizza!”, cried my niece.
“I want roasted vegetables with quinoa!”, cried my nephew (yeah right, good one).
“I want a drink”, cried my cousin.
All of a sudden, there was a roaring boom and the power went out.
“It’s probably just the gfci breaker” I said (of course the whole house is gfci protected being on a tiny island, surrounded by water, safety first).
I got up to check the electrical panel, but I stumbled backwards, because there was a big hairy man standing there, check that, this is my story, a beautiful woman standing there. (Hmmm…. My wife might read this, never mind, a big hairy man it is).
My eyes met the big hairy man’s eyes.
“I’ve been looking all around for you, Jothi” he said.
“You have?”
“I need to tell you something” he replied. Hmm… I thought to myself, what could it be?
“You’re a Cancerer” He said.
“Wow, that’s great news” I exclaimed. Of course of was lying, having no idea what a Cancerer was.
“Well, can I be one too?” asked Soren
“No, you are a Nuggle. Non-cancer folk”
“Jothi, We need to get you to Perpendicular alley and get you all signed up and ready for the adventure forthcoming”, said the man.
“Perpendicular Alley! Wow, that sounds incredible!” Although quietly in my head I was thinking it would be nice if it was a more interesting or flexible shape. “Let’s go!”.
And before I knew it, I was all signed up and on the program, I didn’t even fully know what exactly was going on, my life forever changed.
Please excuse my silly story parody. It’s been bouncing around in my head for awhile.
Have you ever noticed how people treat you different once they know you have cancer? It seems like either they can be overly sympathetic because they think you’re about to die and pity you or they suddenly don’t want to have much to do with you. “The very thought of your cancer make me feel so uncomfortable, that I can’t be around you”. Just like that, people can just melt out of your life. Which is fine, truthfully it’s best not to be around people who are like that. Their problem is within themselves.
I really like the song “Best Fake Smile” by James Bay. There is nothing like getting a fake smile. Please take it with you and go find what makes you happy and have a great life.
Well, to be fair, I’m not the same person as I was prior to cancer. Things seem clearer, simpler, to me. There is a new level of appreciation and gratitude for life. I also don’t seem to have patience for pettiness, selfishness or complainers. Not that I don’t have those things show up within myself from time to time, I don’t have patience for them there either.
I have met some amazing, chronically ill people in the last few years. Their ability to keep going with a gusto and still keep smiling with the challenges they go through on a daily basis is inspiring.
I recently watched a show about a 12 year old boy, who has sickle cell disease. Sickle cell disease is a condition where your red blood cells are not round, but in the shape of a sickle.
The consequence of that are fatigue, early cell death causing anemia or blocked blood flow causing pain.
There is no cure for sickle cell disease. Treatments include chemotherapy and blood transfusions.
Towards the end of the program, the interviewer asked the boy, “Do you wish you never had sickle cell disease?” The boy sat there quiet for a minute in thought and said “No”. I think that surprised the interviewer and he asked why. The boy said “sickle cell made me into the person I am today and it gave me a greater appreciation for life and what I have.”
“Wow”, I thought to myself. This kid is my hero! He is wiser than half the people you see walking down the street. Amazing people are everywhere and come in all sizes. Some light bulbs just burn brighter than others.
So the next time you pity or decide you aren’t comfortable with a cancer person (or other chronic illness person) in your life, look inside yourself and remember you could be losing out on someone who is truly remarkable.
It feels like a long time since I posted something, but actually it hasn’t been that long. I have been working on a few things, but they aren’t done yet.
I switched recently from getting Dara and dex weekly, to every other week. I seemed to be more or less humming along getting it weekly so that’s what I was expecting, getting it every other week.
Well, I was wrong about that. It almost seems like my body reset from the drugs and I was getting them for the first time all over again. Nothing major from side affects, other than extreme FATIGUE. I was a zombie for days. I had my normal loss of sleep for two days from the dex, but even on those days I didn’t want to get out of bed in the middle of the night to do things, like I normally do. I get the injection and dex on Saturday and more dex on Sunday.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I was sleeping 9-10 hours a night. I’d go to bed tired and wake up just as tired 🥱. It wasn’t until Thursday, til I started snapping out of it. It would have been interesting to see a CBC, to see what the blood was doing. Red blood cell drop?
I was still up doing things, but as bedtime got closer, my bed was looking so good. “Honey, I’m going to bed!”
No chemo this week, I’m even on a Pom break. Blood tests at the end of the week.
Speaking of blood tests. I was reading an article about some myeloma patients relapsing after initial treatment with bispecific antibodies, which of course is what Dara is. HAHA, just what I need to be reading after starting initial treatment 😅.
I could see my mind, almost from a third party, start the fear cycle. It lasted a few seconds before I said to myself “Screw it, I’m not going down this road. It’s either working or not and that’s out of my control.” Keep living while you still have life and not worry about the rest.
I’ve been referred to Stanford for a bone marrow transplant. I have my meeting with them tomorrow. I met with them 3 years ago to go over everything and learn about it. I did not elect to do it at the time. Something about it never sat right with me. It just seems counterintuitive to me. Dropping an atomic bomb on my body, while they try and keep me alive, waiting for my body to pick up the pieces and put it back together.
I hired a myeloma specialist earlier in the year from UCSF. I had to pay out of pocket for it, since my provider claims to have expertise in myeloma and they wouldn’t cover it, since it’s out of network. I now know, their expertise is limited compared to the specialist and UCSF. American health care can be so frustrating 😡.
The specialist told me, that there are basically only four things that work against myeloma. Initial treatment, Bone marrow transplant, Dara and Car T cell therapy. There is some free knowledge for you from a specialist. Hence, that’s why I’m back to heading down to talk with Stanford tomorrow. I’ve learned to let go of things and just go with the flow in my particular point in the river.
My youngest son Rohan (12), decided he wanted to play baseball. They have a winter league starting up soon, so we signed him up. He’s really excited and looking forward to it. I decided to sign up to be a assistant coach for his age group. I’m not sure what compelled me to volunteer to be surrounded by a bunch of pre teens and teens. I’ll just have to not come on days that I’m affected by dex 🤯.
I do enjoy baseball. I played on a team when I was around his age. I remember being so competitive. I played first base for the beginning of the season. Our worse player got stuck out in right field of course. After seeing him not catch the ball repeatedly, I asked to be switched to center field.
I remember one game, the other team figured out that our right fielder had catching issues and kept hitting the ball to right. Hit after hit, run after run. I got so mad at my teammate. I was playing center and a good chunk of right, which of course is too much ground to cover effectively for one person. I was having balls fall in center because I was in right field, which of course did not help my mental attitude 😅. We lost the game of course.
Our right fielder had lots of fielding practice going forward and things got better, including his happiness. I’m sure he didn’t like dropping every ball that was hit his way. I’d sure like to go back in time and smack myself on top of the head to gain some sense.
Looking back on something like that now, it’s so trivial. Like a little league game matters in the grand scheme of things. It’s funny how a lot of things in life we give greater importance to than they actually have. One of the things that matter (in my opinion) with life, is the happiness for the people that surround you. I hope to pass that on to the next generation.
This is our family dog, Yukon. He is a 2 year old English cream Labrador retriever. He was born on a winery in Napa of all places. There was an English gentleman, who had 2 English creams as pets and were also his trademark for his wine. One was a boy and the other was a girl. Nature happened and Yukon came into this world.
He is a mellow, easy going guy. I wanted to get a dog for my children, to increase the happiness in our household. They have wanted to get a dog for a long while and I always resisted. No time like the present is how I find myself living more and more.
For some reason, beyond my reasoning, he decided that I am his favorite person. I don’t dislike dogs but the the rest of my family all liked dogs better than I. Go figure. I must need it more???
He is a goofy boy. His hobbies include loving anyone he can, watching squirrels, eating almond butter and popcorn, chasing the leaf blower, marking the neighborhood, playing, breathing in my face and helping me do whatever I do, no matter what.
This includes helping me: go for walks, eat my meals, garden, qigong, meditate, cook, vacuum, write (he’s under the table right now helping write this), take a nap, do laundry, get changed, take the garbage cans down the road and clipping my toe nails. We have nicknamed him, my shadow. As far as he is concerned, wherever I go, he goes.
He’s always ready for an adventure, no matter what it is. He likes to suck on the heads of teddy bears to calm down, I guess it’s like a pacifier for him? We also have a cat, Sherlock, who is 10 years old. Sherlock treats Yukon like an annoying little brother. Sherlock tolerates Yukon, but when he is in pissy cat mode, Yukon becomes a punchy bag. Yukon does find that entertaining though and gets to practice his boxing sidestepping moves.
He still thinks he a lap dog
An interesting thing I noticed about Yukon, is that he is always legitimately really happy to see everyone, all the time, no matter who it is.
Everyday is the best day, even if we just take out the garbage. Maybe the world would be a better place if we were all like dogs?
One of things that is a challenge for me with myeloma is that it is generally an older person cancer and most of the data out there is based on someone much older than I am. The median age for myeloma is 66-70. Only recently has it been showing up in younger people.
I’ll confess that I’m a bit of a data/numbers/stats person. How do I know if a certain set of data points are the way they are because it’s just myeloma or it’s because it’s off of someone who’s 70? The answer is, I don’t.
Most of the oncologists I’ve talked to like to say, “You’re young, you can take it”. Umm gee thanks, I get extra drug abuse because I’m young and can take it???? It’s a fine line between dying of myeloma and dying from drugs meant to kill myeloma. I like to keep that in mind.
The 5 year survival rate for myeloma is about 40%. Obviously, like most people, I want to be on the side of the 40% that is still alive. I want to be a myeloma person who is still alive in 10 years, 15 years, 25 years.
What’s my strategy to achieve that? A strategy that I believe can help a person who is any age.
By doing what is good for my body, down to the cellular level and bad for cancer. It’s funny how things that are really good for us are also good at getting rid of cancer cells (and other chronic illnesses, I might add).
The biggest foundational piece to health is diet. Without a healthy diet, as the first building block, it’s hard to have success with anything else. Everything builds off of food and drink. It’s easy for me to point to having a poor diet as part of the reason I’m in this mess to begin with.
Feed your body nutritional food that is GOOD for you and don’t feed yourself food that is good for cancer growth. It’s just common sense if you think about it.
NF-KB is the primary pathway for growth in Myeloma, regulating inflammation and immune responses. Doesn’t it just make good practical sense to eat an anti inflammatory diet as to not give myeloma what it needs to grow. We know sugar, dairy, highly processed foods, meat and alcohol are inflammatory for the body and feed cancer cells.
1. I choose an anti inflammatory diet that is plant based whole food which is anti cancer. Food that is full of life/prana/qi and not something that expires 6 months from now.
Some people call a whole food diet, full of vegetables and fruits, legumes, healthy grains and healthy fats extreme. If you stop and think about it, I eat the same way as my great grandparents did and every generation before them. Does that sound extreme? If you had a time machine and went back in time to the 1800’s and asked someone if they have an extreme diet, they would look at you like you were crazy. In fact, I eat better then my great grandparents, because I have access to so much more variety. Only ignorance holds people back.
2. Next, I make sure that I drink purified water. You only have to glance at the news to read about stories of toxic water in whole towns (Flint MI, South Shore KY etc.) that is undrinkable. The local governments come out and say “my bad”, leaving you to deal with the fallout. I use a RO water filter currently. We have pretty good water here in California, but when we change the filters, they are really disgusting. Filter your water!
3. There are basically two thoughts of dealing with cancer, killing it with chemotherapy, surgery or radiation or to block it metabolically (starve it). Metabolically makes the most sense to me, since cancer cells are just your cells gone wrong and I can’t kill my blood without killing myself effectively. Truthfully, I’ve been hammering away at this metabolically and I haven’t been able to get the results I want. The best I got the oncologist to say is “Your myeloma isn’t behaving as expected. You are a high risk patient who is behaving like a standard risk patient”.
I’m currently mixing both worlds of chemo and metabolic blocking. I do take supplements such as Curcumin, Reishi, D3/K2 among other things that inhibit myeloma growth (they inhibit other cancers as well).
4. “Sitting is the new smoking”, they say. Move your body! I stay active everyday, walking, hiking, gardening, bike riding and Qigong. Some say cancer is cause by stagnation of the body, in areas that lack oxygen. Exercise has lots of benefits such as increased oxygen, blood flow (looking at you revlimid non-blood clots), increased heart rate, plus it can get you out of your own head!
5. Speaking of heads, I’m pretty sure I suffered some sort of ptsd with the cancer diagnosis. I took me a couple of years working through stuff to overcome it. It was a big growth experience for me. Getting out raw emotions, breathing techniques and meditation is what worked for me. I still keep up with pranayama and meditation daily for upkeep.
I have had plenty of seemingly one sided conversations with God. One of the things that I’ve gotten back is, an overwhelming sense that I’m meant to go through this (for reasons that are still a mystery to me), so that is very reassuring for me.
6. Detoxing. I’ve spent a significant amount of time working on detoxing my body (and mind). I done detoxing methods from naturopath methods and I’ve gone to India twice for a major full body detox called Panchakarma, which is a month long process each time. I’ve definitely had some raunchy stuff come out of me. Of course we live in a toxic world and I’m continually having toxins come in no matter how much I avoid it. I use diet and infrared sauna to keep on moving things out that aren’t supposed to be there.
To sum up my strategy, I do what is good for me and bad for cancer. Using chemo when I need it (trying to stay away from it as much as possible). Keep moving and living. Hit the myeloma with certain supplements. Keep working on my head and remembering why I want to keep living.
Carrots Over Cancer 