Tag: daily improvement

Blog

The Gift of Giving

Jothi

I’ve been thinking about gifts a lot lately, obviously because of what time of year it is. This is something I really wanted to write about, but I’ve been spending so much time with family as of late, I haven’t had much time for writing.

I have some fond memories of opening or receiving gifts. I remember exploding with happiness and joy, one year when I was around 11-12. I had just unwrapped a Game boy! I had really wanted one so bad. Can you imagine, playing black and white (actually, I guess it was kind of greenish) Tetris in the palm of your hands! (Yes, I’m a bit of a geek at times) It was so amazing. I can see any young people reading this rolling their eyes, but this was really cutting edge technology. It’s nothing compared to today’s technology, but back in my day, HOLY COW!

Or the time my Dad got a basketball hoop and hung it on our garage. Finally, I could shoot hoops as much as I wanted. One year, my Dad had some new asphalt laid on the driveway, which included in front of the garage. It was a brand new court, no more bouncing the ball on a random rock and shooting off in a different direction. The pavement was a thing of beauty.

I remember one birthday, maybe around the age of 11, I spent almost the whole day volunteering. I came home just for a little bit, barely had any times for presents or cake. I remember going to bed that night, thinking it was my best birthday ever. (I do remember getting Mario Bros 2 for NES, which was awesome until I realized Nintendo pulled a fast one on everyone, and it wasn’t a true Mario game). Maybe at this point, I had received a glimpse of giving?

Fast forward a few decades and I had children of my own. Holidays with kids in the house is 1000% better than not having them around. They just ooze with anticipation and excitement. It’s so much fun to be around. I loved shopping for and buying wooden Thomas the trains, legos and craft projects for my children. One year, I was hunting for a wooden Cranky the crane (from Thomas) that my eldest son really wanted. I finally found one on eBay, new and for a price I wanted to pay. Score, victory! My son exploded with happiness as he unwrapped, opened the box and started cranking the handle to move the string up and down, carrying a piece of cargo.

By this point, I was on board with giving. I was married and wanted to give whatever I could to my wife and make her happy. We started having kids and I wanted to give them whatever I could and make them happy. I was a giving pro or at least I thought (legend in my own mind again).

As it turns out, it’s actually quite easy to give things to children and they get happy and excited. What about adults?!?! Try to give something to an adult and have them radiate happiness and joy.

Throughout my life, I’ve heard the saying, “you can’t actually give anything away.” I thought, “that’s nice”, without understanding. Within the last 5-8 years, I think I finally have understanding and that increases every year. I’m a believer.

As it turns out (Again!), it’s actually the person who is giving, who is the one who is benefiting the most!

Wow, what a lesson, and I don’t think it’s a lesson that everyone learns. I’m not sure if I’m reaching an age that has some wisdom that comes with it (I still have a long way to go in the wisdom department, maybe by 80 I’ll be wise?) or it’s part of my cancer-university (growth) or what? Of course it helps to have some givers in my life that I can observe. Maybe in another 10 years I will finally get it completely.

I think people who just buy everything that they want for themselves, because they can or don’t care to take the time to give, are the ones who are really missing out. I find that a shame for them and actually pity them.

True giving, taking the time to think about, find, buy or make a gift and have it be something that brings happiness or joy to a person, is something special for the giver. They are the ones who get that good feeling in their chest, that true happiness radiating from and around their heart.

And if you want to talk about true happiness, try volunteering or giving your time to someone in need and receive a (golden) genuine “thank you” in return. Holy cow! That’s something that nurtures your soul.

Of course, you don’t always give or get what (they) you wanted. It’s probably not possible 100% of the time. Perhaps, it’s more about the energy or the wanting to give, that comes with a gift, than whatever the gift actually is. That’s maybe what’s actually important.

I can’t speak for my parents and the game boy, but I have a feeling, as with when Cranky the crane entered ours lives, that my wife and I were the real winners that day. As my years, holidays, birthdays and anniversaries go by, it’s more important for me to give than it is to get, because I’m the lucky one in the end, who receives the Gift of Giving.

Nutrition

My Diet – Part Two

Jothi

The word SUPERFOOD. It is used way too much, thrown around by marketers. According to them, everything is a super food and we should all be super, but for some reason we are all fat, sick and dying.

I saw on a potato box recently, “Super food Potatoes!”. POTATOES are not a super food!!! They are super at filling up your stomach if you’re starving, and they taste good, but there isn’t a lot of nutritional value.

As a general rule I have about my food, is that it has to be Organic. There are too many chemicals out there in the food industry for me to trust. Countless chemicals are banned in Europe and other countries, that the US allows. Organic is always better than non organic, but I don’t know what’s available where you live. As long as you are keeping it real with yourself, do the best you can and don’t stress about it (as you know, stress is horrible for you).

I generally eat everything cooked and not raw. I know there is some debate out there over that, when it comes to anti cancer diets. This is the logic that I subscribe to. Cooked food is broken down and more easily digestible. You do lose a bit of nutritional value in the cooking of the food, but if you are absorbing more of it, I feel you are better off. Plus, I can’t think of one person who is on chemo, whose gut bacteria and digestive system isn’t being nuked. Easier to digest equals big win for the digestive system and you.

Generally, the only thing that I eat raw, is vegetable juice, which has broken down already by the juicer and there is big loss in benefit in heating the juice.

Breakfast

I make a mix of oatmeal, amaranth and quinoa as my base. Oats help renew bones and connective tissues. They help with digestion and help remove unwanted things on their way out. Amaranth is an ancient Latin America and African seed. High in protein and vitamins. It has the highest protein content out of grains (although technically not a grain). Quinoa, generally strengthens the whole body. A good source of Iron, B vitamins and vitamin E.

Quick side note on iron. Iron can stimulate tumor growth. Iron based supplements should only be taken with a doctor’s guidance, to know if you are deficient (I’m personally not in favor of iron supplements). I think it’s been pretty well proven at this point that red meat based iron can easily feed cancer cells, because it’s very absorbable. Plant based iron is not well absorbed, so therefor a good source of it for people who have cancer.

We need iron for our red blood cells, hemoglobin and oxygen transfers. I have had my iron tested and I’ve had no negative consequences from my plant based iron intake. My hemoglobin has always looked good (knock on wood), despite it normally being a myeloma challenge.

Sorry, back to breakfast. One cup of cooked amaranth contains nine grams of protein with quinoa not far behind. Protein among other things, is essential building block for your immune system. I’ve had numerous chemo nurses and alternative doctors (both usually from Asia), grind me about getting enough protein. Both saying, “the ones who usually make it from cancer (and more recently from covid), are the ones getting sufficient amounts of protein”.

An adult male, according to our wondrous USDA, needs about 50 grams of protein a day. Breakfast is a good place to start.

I have my base of oatmeal, quinoa and amaranth. I soak about ten almonds overnight. I take off the skins in the morning and add that to the pot. Removing the skins makes them easier to digest (I bet you’re starting to notice a theme). Almonds are nutritional and body building. The skins taken off feel like rough paper, no wonder they don’t digest well.

Nuts on a whole are nutritional, but are hard to digest, so I’m cautious with them. Sometimes, I’ll add in some walnuts (anti cancer), but they are very acidic, and are one of those foods that can throw a person’s body out of balance (not that I’m in balance, aiming to be), from the perspective of Ayurveda (doshas) or Chinese medicine (yin/yang).

In a separate pot, I’ll make a stew of Goji berries (iron, blood building, antioxidant), blueberries, blackberry and raspberries (antioxidants). Sometimes, I add in some seasonal fruit for variety. I’ll add some spices, notably, ginger, a digestive aid, among just being awesome. Through all my treatments, I’ve only be nauseous a couple of times and that was when my intestines were getting blasted by radiation (I don’t know who wouldn’t be nauseous from that!). I owe it all to GINGER. It’s amazing stuff, anti nausea, appetite builder, digestion aid, fever reducer and phlegm remover among other things. I drank pots of freshly made ginger tea when I had Covid and I feel it’s a large reason why I skated through the Covid infection so easily.

Next, I will freshly grind a bit of chia seeds and a good amount of flax seeds. I could classify flax as one of the mother of all super foods. These little buggers are incredible. Loaded with vitamins and minerals. They are one of the richest sources of omega 3 fatty acids, which improve immunity and clean the arteries and are a must for this diet. I freshly grind them each day, because of the oil in the seeds can become rancid after a few days and it’s just so easy to do. Also, without grinding, they would just come out the other side whole and I wouldn’t receive any benefit.

Lastly, I scoop out one tablespoon of coconut oil as a healthy fat. A few years ago, my primary doctor wanted to check my cholesterol (probably to see if I could be put on cholesterol medication). I thought it was stupid, no way I have a cholesterol problem, with the way I eat. The test came back, and it turns out I did have a problem. It wasn’t with bad cholesterol, I didn’t have enough good cholesterol! (Although, I didn’t hear that from my doctor). Daily healthy fats are essential.

I mix it all together and breakfast is served! High nutrition and body building, two things I need. Please join me.

To be continued in Part Three.

Wisdom

Time

Jothi

Written by the fine folks at Learning Strategies http://www.learningstrategies.com/

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”
– William Penn

“Lack of time” is the number one reason people cite for their failure to exercise, says the National Academy of Sports Medicine. It’s also why so many people fail to launch their dreams and goals.

In effect, it’s an excuse that causes us to abandon our capacity and ability up front. After all, why engage in an activity if you believe ahead of time it cannot be done because you lack the time?

The most successful—and fulfilled—people are those who truly value their time. Notice I did not say “manage” their time. It’s an important distinction.

Getting the most from your time is not just about making lists and being organized. While that can certainly be helpful, making optimal use of your time requires you recognize the great worth time has for you.

There is an economic aspect to time—trading the monetary value of your work time for something tangible such as a new sweater, home, concert, or vacation—and there is a spiritual aspect. Like money, time is a medium through which your spiritual values come into the material world. How you choose to invest your time is an expression of who you are and your deepest values as reflected in your work, hobbies, community commitments, and how you tend your relationships.

Every action you take—or non-action—involves an evaluation of your time, whether you realize it or not. It might be a deliberate thought process, or it can happen in an instant when you finish dinner and say, “I’m too tired to pay bills, I’ll watch TV instead.”

What are the criteria by which you evaluate your time?

Perhaps you start each day with a half-hour meditation. Why? Because it’s of greater value to you than anything else you might do at that moment such as sleeping a little longer or watching the morning news. Your experience has told you dedicating those minutes at the front end of your day makes you calm, focused, and energized so you can think more clearly and accomplish more each day.

How you choose to value your time is key, whether you are listening to Paraliminals, practicing Spring Forest Qigong, training for a marathon, restoring antiques, volunteering at a homeless shelter, or learning a musical instrument.

Let’s say you enjoy playing the piano and regularly practice to get better. Who cares? You can put on a recording and listen to the best pianist in the world all day long, so it has little to do with hearing the music.

You have placed a value on being able to play the music yourself. Why? Because it brings you joy and satisfaction. You don’t practice for the sake of practice. You practice because every minute you do, you are engaged in doing something you love or something that satisfies. Time flies by, and as you channel your energy productively, your skills improve and you become a better pianist.

As you go about your day, stop and ask yourself, “What is the best trade for this time?”

Ask it often—whenever you’re about to start a task or project, when you switch gears after your evening meal, or when you get in your car as you leave work (do you listen to talk radio, engage a language learning program, or use your commuting time to brainstorm solutions to a difficult problem?).

When you intentionally choose how you spend your time, you’ll feel more in control of your life as you direct your energy in the ways that best serve you and the world.

Blog

The Yukon Fan Club

Jothi

This is our family dog, Yukon. He is a 2 year old English cream Labrador retriever. He was born on a winery in Napa of all places. There was an English gentleman, who had 2 English creams as pets and were also his trademark for his wine. One was a boy and the other was a girl. Nature happened and Yukon came into this world.

He is a mellow, easy going guy. I wanted to get a dog for my children, to increase the happiness in our household. They have wanted to get a dog for a long while and I always resisted. No time like the present is how I find myself living more and more.

For some reason, beyond my reasoning, he decided that I am his favorite person. I don’t dislike dogs but the the rest of my family all liked dogs better than I. Go figure. I must need it more???

He is a goofy boy. His hobbies include loving anyone he can, watching squirrels, eating almond butter and popcorn, chasing the leaf blower, marking the neighborhood, playing, breathing in my face and helping me do whatever I do, no matter what.

This includes helping me: go for walks, eat my meals, garden, qigong, meditate, cook, vacuum, write (he’s under the table right now helping write this), take a nap, do laundry, get changed, take the garbage cans down the road and clipping my toe nails. We have nicknamed him, my shadow. As far as he is concerned, wherever I go, he goes.

He’s always ready for an adventure, no matter what it is. He likes to suck on the heads of teddy bears to calm down, I guess it’s like a pacifier for him? We also have a cat, Sherlock, who is 10 years old. Sherlock treats Yukon like an annoying little brother. Sherlock tolerates Yukon, but when he is in pissy cat mode, Yukon becomes a punchy bag. Yukon does find that entertaining though and gets to practice his boxing sidestepping moves.
He still thinks he a lap dog

An interesting thing I noticed about Yukon, is that he is always legitimately really happy to see everyone, all the time, no matter who it is.

Everyday is the best day, even if we just take out the garbage. Maybe the world would be a better place if we were all like dogs?

Blog

149 Years of Possessions

Jothi

I’ve been thinking about possessions lately. I take our dog Yukon for a couple mile walk everyday around the neighborhood. He need the exercise and so do I.

The next block over, there is a thin man in his 70’s with white hair and one of those great walrus mustaches. He’s probably a widow and lives in an old house painted kind of a puke green. He has a dog as well, an older golden retriever that Yukon likes to gawk at every time he sees her.

He recently put his house on the market to sell. It’s very much a fixer upper, with siding falling off in certain places and mold growing on parts of the walls.

Being what the housing market is currently in California, it sold within a month and half, for way more than it should of. But, hats off to the guy, I’m happy for him for getting a lot for his house, and hopefully he will live happily ever after.

He did get to live in the house for about 2 months after it sold, so my dog and I still got to gawk at his house and his dog. He had a garage sale a week and a half ago for the pre move purge. A whole garage driveway full of stuff.

He sold what he could, but the next day there was a whole driveway full of stuff that was now a free pile. We stopped on our way past, to see if there was anything we wanted. I looked over the hoard and didn’t see anything that would benefit our lives and we kept walking.

I got to thinking, as I typically do while I walk, since my only company is more interested in peeing on things. This guy has a whole driveway full of stuff he doesn’t want. He tried to sell it and there is still a whole driveway full of stuff no one wanted to buy. It’s now been a week and a half since the free pile started and there is still a whole driveway full of stuff he can’t give away!

Wow, that’s crazy to think that he had all of these possessions that no one wants for I don’t know how many years. That’s some baggage.

Of course that got me thinking about my own family’s possessions. Let me tell you, we have STUFF. Having 4 kids with their combined 62 years of collecting. Add that to the 87 years of my wife’s and my collecting and that’s a whopping 149 years of possessions!

Fortunately we have had to move a few times, as recently as a couple of years ago. Nothing like moving to get you to pull out your things and look at them. We continue to purge, we seem to always have a bag or two that accumulates over a couple of months for Salvation Army’s thrift shop.

I’ve personally gotten extra fussy since the cancer diagnosis, about getting things that only benefit me or my families lives. Who wants to deal with a pile of extra stuff in the case of my untimely departure. If something doesn’t give me happiness, I don’t want it.

When you look at a item, does it fulfill a purpose or does it give you happiness that you own it? If it doesn’t, maybe you shouldn’t own it anymore. Of course when you bought the item, you were happy and excited about it. Toys are the best example of that. My kids darn near exploded 🤩 with excitement every birthday or Christmas (I’m a little jealous that’s adults loose that, I’m try to get that back a bit).

After the excitement fades, are you still happy you own it?

Long term storage cracks me up. Sure it has its uses, especially for people in between homes or business use. But if it’s used for people who just have so much stuff that they can’t fit into their homes and can’t part with, it’s just crazy. Paying hundreds of dollars a month to keep owning something that you don’t want to look at. America at its best.

It’s also funny, when you sell or give away a possession, you feel so much better and lighter now that’s its out of your life. In this case, less is more!

To have a better life, better your everyday life just a little. One way of doing that is to be not bogged down by your possessions.

Eat your vegetables!

Yukon
Blog

Ya Grumpy Bastard

Jothi

Dexamethasone Dexamethasone Dexamethasone

It’s a steroid that is supposed to enhance chemotherapy. I told my brother the other day that I’m taking a steroid.

“Cool” he said, “Are you going to have huge muscles?”

“I wish, not that kind of steroid” I replied, remembering my very normal muscles from the mirror the other day.

“No, I just get to lose sleep and have my mental aspects altered”.

I’m currently taking 20mg Saturday and Sunday, which is the high. Steroid crash starts happening Monday night and all of Tuesday. It feels like I want to collapse and explode at the same time. Also it seems like there is a little angry gremlin in my chest trying to escape

I was eating lunch talking with my wife about it last month.

“I think the steroids are affecting me mentally, I feel more angry and irritated”. Mind you, I think most people would say that I’m a pretty mellow guy who gets along.

“Do you want to know the truth?” She asked me. “Of course I do”, I replied. “It’s affecting you a lot. I’ve noticed and the kids have noticed”.

“Good to know”, I said.

You can’t work on a flaw within yourself if you don’t quite know it exists. I feel like we are always kinder to ourselves in our minds and skew our perception. I had an old Filipino friend and co worker and his favorite phrase is “I’m a legend in my own mind”. I love that phrase and think of it when evaluating myself. It’s helpful to have a trusted family member/friend to let you know how the rest of the world perceives you.

Last Tuesday (steroid crash day), I could tell as soon as I was done eating breakfast, today was going to be a challenge day emotionally. I was GRUMPY. I decided that I was mostly going to try and keep to myself so I didn’t share my mental wonders with the family 😜. My poor wife decided she wanted to cheer me up a bit, but the gremlin would not allow it. GRRRRRR is what she got in return.

It is my personal goal to be constantly working on myself, especially mentally, to be in control of my mind. I spend time analyzing myself on why I react to certain situations and how to improve. Being grumpy, mad or sad is just a state of mind (or FEAR, that’s a huge one, needs it’s own post though). With training, you can take yourself from one state of mind to a better one.

I start with of a picture in my mind of who I want to be, to set my goal. That way I can compare the way I am to who I want to be. Certainly no one wants to be an angry grumpy bastard, even on Dex days. Try to improve a little every day and over time you will find yourself a better person.

Overall, I think I’m doing alright mastering myself, still lots of room for improvement, but then again I am a legend in my own mind.