Tag: for fun

I was walking my dog Yukon the other day. We go for a walk every day, for my benefit and his. Most days, Yukon needs to have a bowel movement along the way, much to my chagrin. But hey, it’s part of nature, and I’ve let go of my timing preferences.

His perfect moment for this day was way at the other end of our street, in front of a deaf guy’s house. Yukon was doing his business, not in the guy’s yard but in front. Suddenly, the door flies open, and the guy starts yelling at me in a way that I couldn’t understand, since he was deaf. But it was pretty easy to tell he was not happy about Yukon’s choice.

“I’m cleaning it up” I said.

He kept yelling, not hearing what I said. Obviously, out of habit I spoke, since I don’t have much experience communicating with a deaf person.

I showed him the dog poop bags, he understood that, waved and slammed his door.

Now, I’ve never left a mess behind, anytime or anywhere, from my dog. I hate stepping in dog poo and it’s a lame move to let your dog poop in someone’s yard and leave it. His reaction would have been fully justified in my mind if that’s what I did. But I didn’t. He must have been having a bad day and this was the last straw.

Lucky me, it’s not like I can control my dog’s bowel movements. OR CAN I??? It’s something that I’ve wished for more than a couple of times.

REALLY?!?!

You are going here?

I have to carry this now for 2.5 miles, back to a garbage can!?!

It would be a super handy, but super lame super power.

Recently, I was standing in a circle in my superhero group. You see, an Alien race was starting to invade, and it looked like the end for humanity. We were its last hope.

“Let’s review everyone’s powers before we head out” Colossal man said.

“I have super strength and speed” one said.

“I can teleport” said another.

“I don’t have a superpower, but I’m really rich and can make gadgets” said the third.

“I can create and control fire” chimed another.

It was my turn and everyone turned to me.

“I can control my dog’s bowel movements”, I said.

Invincible Woman turned to me and said, “I’m so jealous of your power.”

“I know right, it’s pretty awesome” I replied. 😜

Oh well….. I guess I can cross off getting scolded by a deaf man off my bucket list.