It was a cold and windy night. My cousin Soren had decided to take his wife and family on a holiday. They had a spare room in the house they rented and invited me to come along. It was an odd vacation home. You had to take a boat to get there because it was on a tiny island the middle of the sea.
After we got warmed up and our arms recovered from all the rowing, we started settling in. I found my room, it was on the second story of the house overlooking, well of course, the sea. I dropped off my belongings and headed back down stairs. The rest of the family was sitting around a tall dining room table on black stools.
“What should we have for dinner”, Soren asked
“I want pizza!”, cried my niece.
“I want roasted vegetables with quinoa!”, cried my nephew (yeah right, good one).
“I want a drink”, cried my cousin.
All of a sudden, there was a roaring boom and the power went out.
“It’s probably just the gfci breaker” I said (of course the whole house is gfci protected being on a tiny island, surrounded by water, safety first).
I got up to check the electrical panel, but I stumbled backwards, because there was a big hairy man standing there, check that, this is my story, a beautiful woman standing there. (Hmmm…. My wife might read this, never mind, a big hairy man it is).
My eyes met the big hairy man’s eyes.
“I’ve been looking all around for you, Jothi” he said.
“You have?”
“I need to tell you something” he replied. Hmm… I thought to myself, what could it be?
“You’re a Cancerer” He said.
“Wow, that’s great news” I exclaimed. Of course of was lying, having no idea what a Cancerer was.
“Well, can I be one too?” asked Soren
“No, you are a Nuggle. Non-cancer folk”
“Jothi, We need to get you to Perpendicular alley and get you all signed up and ready for the adventure forthcoming”, said the man.
“Perpendicular Alley! Wow, that sounds incredible!” Although quietly in my head I was thinking it would be nice if it was a more interesting or flexible shape. “Let’s go!”.
And before I knew it, I was all signed up and on the program, I didn’t even fully know what exactly was going on, my life forever changed.
Please excuse my silly story parody. It’s been bouncing around in my head for awhile.
Have you ever noticed how people treat you different once they know you have cancer? It seems like either they can be overly sympathetic because they think you’re about to die and pity you or they suddenly don’t want to have much to do with you. “The very thought of your cancer make me feel so uncomfortable, that I can’t be around you”. Just like that, people can just melt out of your life. Which is fine, truthfully it’s best not to be around people who are like that. Their problem is within themselves.
I really like the song “Best Fake Smile” by James Bay. There is nothing like getting a fake smile. Please take it with you and go find what makes you happy and have a great life.
Well, to be fair, I’m not the same person as I was prior to cancer. Things seem clearer, simpler, to me. There is a new level of appreciation and gratitude for life. I also don’t seem to have patience for pettiness, selfishness or complainers. Not that I don’t have those things show up within myself from time to time, I don’t have patience for them there either.
I have met some amazing, chronically ill people in the last few years. Their ability to keep going with a gusto and still keep smiling with the challenges they go through on a daily basis is inspiring.
I recently watched a show about a 12 year old boy, who has sickle cell disease. Sickle cell disease is a condition where your red blood cells are not round, but in the shape of a sickle.
The consequence of that are fatigue, early cell death causing anemia or blocked blood flow causing pain.
There is no cure for sickle cell disease. Treatments include chemotherapy and blood transfusions.
Towards the end of the program, the interviewer asked the boy, “Do you wish you never had sickle cell disease?” The boy sat there quiet for a minute in thought and said “No”. I think that surprised the interviewer and he asked why. The boy said “sickle cell made me into the person I am today and it gave me a greater appreciation for life and what I have.”
“Wow”, I thought to myself. This kid is my hero! He is wiser than half the people you see walking down the street. Amazing people are everywhere and come in all sizes. Some light bulbs just burn brighter than others.
So the next time you pity or decide you aren’t comfortable with a cancer person (or other chronic illness person) in your life, look inside yourself and remember you could be losing out on someone who is truly remarkable.
If you have cancer, you’re genuinely amazing!
