Tag: stress

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MRD Zero Sauce

Jothi

My cells came back last week. From collection to arriving back here, it was about 4 1/2 weeks, which was quicker than the doctor was expecting. All of a sudden there is a flurry of medical things happening. Lots of tests, lots of meetings and driving everywhere for it all.

I have dates for everything now. 3 days of lymphocyte depletion next week. My Car-T infusion is set for August 26. Hospitalization a few days after that.

Today, I’ve been having a lot of meetings about all the drugs they want me to take.

“You’re going to take this drug for this, and it’s going to make you feel like crap”.

“And you’re going to take this drug for that, and it’s going to make you feel like crap”.

“And this drug over here, that’s going to make you feel like crap as well”.

I’m starting to feel like crap just listening to how crappy I’m going to feel 😜. This is all without even counting the side effects from the Car-T.

Sigh, modern medicine, it’s really good at making you feel like crap. “Feeling too well? Well, we have a medicine that can fix that!” Too bad nobody has that problem…

It will be an interesting and intense process. I hope the end result is what I’m hoping for. My doctor told me a few days ago that he wants me to leave from the hospital and the infusion center to be at MRD zero. Which is also my goal (MRD zero is zero myeloma cells detected in my bone marrow). Afterwards I was thinking, if I didn’t achieve that from the Car-T, how would he achieve that?

“Jothi, you haven’t reached MRD zero yet, so we are going to give you and extra portion of MRD zero sauce on your food to get you there!”

Speaking of food, I had some myeloma labs done. I haven’t had any done for about 2 months. I was expecting the numbers to keep elevating at the same rate. When I was on carfilzomib and dara, my light chains were going up 12 a week. As I mentioned in my CAR-T post, when I stopped the chemo, things slowed down a bit.

In the past 2 months, I went up 16 points total! 8 a month. That gave me an unexpected shot in the arm. Again, I find it weird that the cancer was progressing faster when I was receiving treatment. My theory is that the chemo was punching down my system, which must be dealing with the myeloma on some level. Once I recovered, the myeloma went back to a crawl. Diet, exercise and de-stressing are making a huge difference for me.

Which gives me quite a lot of hope for Car-T, since I won’t have any maintenance drugs to punch me down. The cancer will die and hopefully diet, exercise and de-stressing can help take care of the rest, or at least make whatever is left over myeloma’s life miserable.

Turmeric, green tea and broccoli for the win. I’ll go over more of that in my upcoming post, My Car-T Strategy.

P.S. I forgot to mention that the maybe/maybe not tumor on my spine hasn’t shown up physically inside or out, so I’m leaning towards it not being there.

Blog, How To

How To Stop Freaking Out Or De-Stress

Jothi

By Breathing of course.

Have you ever given awareness or paid attention to your breathing? Sometimes when I’m watching TV in the evening, I’ll randomly do a check in, to see how my breathing is going. Sometimes, I’m surprised to find that I’m breathing rather shallow. Especially, I notice it when I’m watching sports and I want my team to win. I’m stressing out over something silly, like a sports game, that actually doesn’t matter at all.

Working, driving, family, friends, money, pets, a chronic condition, waiting on test results, any number of things or life in general, can be stressful!

I’ll let you in on a secret of mine.

I’m afraid of needles, especially blood tests. I laugh at the irony of it all the time. Go figure, I would get a blood cancer.

For months, in the last number of years, I have had to go in for weekly blood tests. I could feel myself wind up as the days went by, to see the vampires, got closer and closer. Feeling that heavy pit in my stomach. Sitting there, in the chair, as they put that rubber band on your arm. Waiting as they are about to stick in the needle. Darn! They missed the vein, now they have to dig around for it or stick me again (I actually have easy veins too). Sometimes, I break out in a sweat, heart pounding. Shaking, when it’s all over.

Well, that doesn’t sound like a good state to be in.

I was just put into fight or flight mode, and I need to be in rest and repair mode as much as possible. A person doesn’t think clearly when they are in fight or flight state.

Breathing is the best way to get back into rest and repair mode and stop stressing or freaking out. It doesn’t matter the reason you are freaking out for these techniques to work. Sometimes just giving awareness to your breathing can be helpful. Just recognize and correct the situation.

I would like to give credit first, mainly because I don’t think it’s said enough, to India, to yoga, to preparing to meditate and meditation. Not to our western version of yoga, the real deal thing developed in India, where these breathing techniques come from. I will always be grateful for the life altering practices that I learned there.

Technique 1:

Alternative Nostril Breathing. This is my personal go to. I do it when I feel stressed and need to calm down and reset.

Begin by holding your right nostril closed and breathe in through your left.

Next, close your left nostril and breathe out through your right nostril.

Keep holding your left nostril closed and breathe in through your right nostril.

Then close your right nostril and breathe out through your left.

This completes one set. Try and count to yourself the same number of counts breathing in and keep it the same number breathing out. Whatever number is comfortable for you. (I’m pretty sure I missed my calling as a nose model, what do you think? 🤪)

I also do a version of this, for at least 10 minutes, every night before I go to sleep. This version must be done when you are calm and not stressed. It’s the same except, you hold your breath for a count of 1 after you inhale both times.

Technique 2:

Sigh Breathing. I really like this one too. I do enjoy a good sigh.

  • Sit up straight.
  • Take a deep, slow breath in through your nose, filling your lungs to full capacity.
  • Hold your breath for 3-5 seconds.
  • Release your breath through your mouth with a sigh (or a good groan 😜).
  • Repeat until you feel better.

Technique 3:

4-7-8 Breathing. This one is amazingly good and quick for snapping you back into instant clarity. I think maybe it has to do with the lack of oxygen coming in at times. Again, alternative nostril breathing is my number one choice, but this one is really helpful in certain situations.

  • Start by exhaling completely.
  • Breathe in for a count of 4.
  • Then hold your breath for a count of 7.
  • Exhale for a count of 8.
  • Repeat. I find that it usually only takes 5 times or so to be re-centered.

A quick note on counting. Make sure you are counting the same way, with the same timing. I can count to 8 in the same time as 4, but that defeats the purpose of doing these breathing exercises. 8 should be twice as long as 4!

Technique 4:

Square Breathing. I don’t use this one much, but I know people who really like it.

  • For this one, the number count doesn’t matter, do what works for you, but the number has to remain the same (i.e. a count of 4 or 5).
  • Start by exhaling completely.
  • Breathe in through your nose for the count of 4.
  • Hold for the count of 4.
  • Exhale through your mouth for the count of 4.
  • Hold again for the count of 4.
  • Repeat.

Technique 5:

Straw Breathing. This is a fantastic one for kids.

  • Breathe a full breath in through your nose.
  • Puff up your cheeks with air and blow out slowly through your mouth like you had a straw in your mouth.
  • Repeat.

For me personally, I can get through my bloods tests and IV’s fine now (and most other things), without freaking out. I’m still very much a work in progress.

I was trying to think of a number 2 for de-stressing besides breathing. Breathing is number one on my list because it’s so effective, it doesn’t cost you anything, and you can do it anytime and anywhere. I would say that exercise would be number 2. But it’s funny though, if you’re exercising, give awareness to your breath, and you’ll notice you breathe very deeply and rhythmically, usually the same count in as out. So in the end, is it breathing again?

Breathing is so amazingly simple and it is so amazingly effective. This should give you a number of tools to help you get through life or de-stress. I hope you find one that you like.

Breathing will help you regain yourself when you lose yourself. But if you want to keep a level head and not lose yourself to begin with, meditate daily, but that’s a whole other topic…

Kabaam!